Barker Barker

“Barker! Barker! Barker!” I sang to myself as I swung round and round the “No Parking” pole. I was four and for some reason, I had just asked my mother what “our” name was. I heard “Barker” and ran outside to fix it in memory, making myself dizzy but successfully remembering it. Unfortunately our family name isn’t Barker, but Parker, but that detail was a later revelation. More than the childhood memory of that day, is the sense of belonging, of family. The world became more than “I,” it became “we.” Something there was which was larger, a greater total. There is more to me than just me. Over the intervening 62 years, I have come to experience an even larger reality: I belong not only to my original five, but to my spouse, children, grandchildren; to my circle of acquaintances, colleagues friends and members of the Body of Christ. Even those whom I find distasteful, arrogant; who disagree with me, who oppose me are a part of me and I of them (though this is a difficult and this insight rarely results in any change in my inclusive behavior). A few weeks ago, sitting with dear friends over lunch, talking of our Lord, an inexpressible longing came over me; a longing for that “something more,” the Someone More. I tried to put it into words, but was at a loss. A deeper relationship, knowing Him more, nothing seemed to express the longing completely. We talked of more study, more prayer. But these, too, fell short. We talked of experience, of charismatic ecstasy and though I’m not opposed, the exhilaration doesn’t last; gaps intrude between glory and glory. Then, over the last day and a half, a growing sense of what may be the answer has dawned. At first, the thought came, “Live Your life within me.” I realized, that, if indeed I am in Christ, that He is already living in me-I don’t need to ask for something that is already reality. Then it changed to, “You are living in me.” This seemed closer, but not quite the reality. Finally, this morning, it came to me, I open myself to the reality of His life lived in me and through me. It is merely in accepting this reality that reality becomes real. In our “real” life, our physical being, we know that life is a gift; we did nothing to conceive or birth ourselves. We breathe, eat, drink and life continues until that mysterious day when it ceases. So often I have confused the food, air and drink of study, prayer, meditation, good deeds as life in the Spirit. The life in the Spirit is a gift; it is ours. We only tend it, feed, water and air it in the external things we do to and for ourselves and others. No matter if I have memorized the whole of the scriptures, spend eight hours a day in prayer and meditation and serve others the other twelve, I have it all backward and inside out. This is not life; it is like trying to feed and give drink to a stone. No life results from these actions. But, with His life lived, recognized in me, these foster the life in the Spirit; Christ in us, the assurance of glory. I am neither Barker, Parker nor Smith; I am of the family of humanity and, more importantly, of the family of God. Perhaps now, I will know, recognize, experience that Reality which is the ultimate recognition of family; of belonging, of union, far beyond self, birth family, marriage, friendship and all other relationship but which makes them real and alive. May it be so