To Know

 To Know Him

My God,

I would come to You as a child, with intense curiosity and naïve honesty. I would know you as a child knows-seeing beyond the visible to the invisible. I want to trust as a child trusts her mother. I want to look to You for all my answers big and small, the simple and complex. I want to ask so many why and what and where and how questions I fear to tire You out, yet knowing that I cannot.

I would come to You as a scientist, bringing my reason and intellect to bear on You as a subject for scientific inquiry. I would find the greatest joy in discovering your laws-the laws of the spiritual kingdom and the physical world.

I would come to you as one in great need, finding in You my full sufficiency, knowing you as my all-encompassing Benefactor.

I would come to you as a new lover, with all the passion and unfeigned joy of newfound love.

I would come to you as a long-married spouse, finding the deep, quiet pleasure in your company that comes from years of deep acquaintance and intimate knowledge. Here, more than in all the rest, is the calm confidence, the trust beyond word, the rest in a total surrender, a complete understanding of Your character that I seek.

September 14, 2003